Week 6: Scary costumes

!Feliz Vispera de Todos los Santos! (80)

(It's a ghost.)

This was a great week. Yesterday, Elaine S. Dalton was our speaker in Relief Society. Holy cow, she is so awesome! She is seriously like an angel! She talked to us about "last words a mother would give her daughters as they venture into the mission field." She boosted our confidence as she talked all about our divine nature, purpose, potential, and different stories and scriptures that help her in tough times. She told a story of a time when she was on a run with her husband. She gets competitive and wanted to beat him up a large hill, but when he passed her, she gave up and called "Honey, I'm going back to the car." He ran back down to her, grabbed her hand, and said "You can do this, we'll do it together." She related it to how when we get halfway up a difficult "hill" in our lives, we have equal distance to turn around and go all the way back to the car or keep pressing forward. She said if she had given up and decided to go sulk because of pride, she would have missed the most beautiful sunrise of her life. She related it to when we get stuck in the middle of our hill and are tired and want to turn back, the Savior takes our hand and helps us up to the "incredible sunrise." So when the going gets tough, never give up! It's simply not worth it to turn around and go back.

Thank you so much for sending watches!! That is so sweet. I haven't had the chance to visit the mail room but I'll pick them up today.

Today my district sisters and I are doing initiatories in the temple instead of endownments. I'm excited.

I told everyone I'm going to be a missionary for Halloween. My costume is pretty convincing. It's scary enough to scare the dickens out of Satan himself!

;)

Man I sure miss you all. I'll have to get over that, I've got 17 more months! Hahah. But I'm doin fine.

What are you all doing for Halloween?? Did you do anything over the weekend? I wish I could carve pumpkins and stuff! My companion said that when we contact our new investigator today, when he opens the door, we'll say "trick or treat."

This week we had an awesome experience teaching. We've been very frustrated and discouraged with our investigator Maria. She often doesn't keep commitments and even when we know she is feeling the Spirit and receiving a witness of the truth, she still says, "Mm, maybe. Maybe I'll read. Maybe I'll go to church. Eh." But this week in Preach My Gospel, I learned that investigator's needs are like an iceberg~you can only see the tip of it, that's all they'll give you, but under the surface is the real lot of it, the majority of what's really going on. So it's up to us to ask and ask and ask questions until we get to the very source of the problem, the very root of what they don't understand or what they need or what's holding them back. So in our last lesson with Maria, I realized I had been flipping through the scriptures while my companion talked, thinking of what to say next, when the thought came to my mind (that I learned from Preach My Gospel this week also): "Stop thinking of what to say next, and just LISTEN." So I stopped and listened to what Maria and my companion were trying to say and it made all the difference in the world. I was totally prompted by the Spirit as to what to say and ask and share and it was exactly what Maria needed to hear. We've always had to try so hard to get her to pray or do anything at all, and this time she willingly prayed right there with us and pleaded for a forgiveness of her sins. It was so heartfelt. She was crying. She told us she wanted to go to church with us on Sunday.

This lesson was the answer to mine and Hermana Alley's prayers. Maria had me legit soooo discouraged about the whole mission for so long. I felt like every single investigator would be just like her and I would never be able to help convert anybody because they just weren't going to listen. I had no faith in myself or in my future investigators. But when I changed this attititude and finally started teaching the way He wants me to teach, it was successful. And I'll tell you, that one moment made every single other struggle with her completely worth it. I would go through it all again and even more if it meant achieving the same result. One of my friends Scott from King Henry was talking to me right before I left and he said "It doesn't matter if you even BLED for that person to be baptized, it's all worth it in the end." And I can already feel that's so true! It gave me all the boost and motivation I needed to keep pressing on. It also made me think of President Hinckley, when he said that life is actally mostly about the hard times, doing the stuff you don't wanna do every day, and that the awesome happy moments are actually somewhat rare blessings. But when you have those moments, it's amazing how it gives you the strength to do everything all over again.

One more experience~~ a few days ago I was just feeling awful. I just was having no confidence and no faith and feeling insecure and couldn't focus or do anything right or just bleh. I was studying Spanish and could NOT understand the concept of Past Subjunctive and I just kinda broke down. I felt so stupid cause the whole class saw me crying over Spanish hahha. But my awesome teacher Hermana Arroyo came and comforted me and said that God knows I can do this. He's there helping me and He wouldn't give me any challenge I couldn't suceed in. I felt such a comforting feeling when she said that. My companion took me to the bathroom so I could just cry for a bit and let it all out ahhah and while I was in the stall I felt someone there with me, comforting me so much. I KNEW either the Savior or a ministering angel was right there with me and was taking away my huge burden, filling me with so much love. It then turned into I couldn't stop crying because I felt Heaven'y FAther's incredible love for me and my significance to Him. It gave me such a stronger testimony of Him and the SAvior's reality and their great love and pacience with all of us. Their whole purpose really is for us to succeed. They don't have other things on their adgenda but to help us make it throguh this life and gain salvation. They love us more that I can know. I've been wondering, though, if it could have been an angel there with me, maybe my dad. I'm not sure but I keep praying to know if it could have been him who was there. I wouldn't doubt it at all if it was. Often when I feel his presence like that it's incredibly strong and undeniable.

Well I have to run cause I'm already al little past my time but I love you all!!! Thank you so much for all your prayers and letters! I wanna make you proud and Heavenly FAther is helping me to do so!

PS Kim gets here on WEDNESDAY!!!! THREE DAYS!!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Okay LOVE YOU!!!!

Happy Halloween!!!

Hermana Wadsworth :)

Week 5: Over the hump

Ah sweet family, we write again.

I sure do miss you guys! I was realizing the other day that it's been over a month now since we've talked live, and that I've got 17 more of those to go.

:(

But it's okay cause it's gonna fly by! And getting letters during the week is the best thing ever.

So this was a good week!

Have I mentioned before how I want to be a teacher here at the MTC when I get home? The idea has come to my mind so many times and every time I think about it I get super happy and excited and feel prompted by the Spirit that this is a good goal I should strive to achieve. A teacher has their own district for the whole 9 weeks that the district is here and every day they teach the class the language, how to improve teaching, and the gospel. There's probably about anywhere from 8-12 people in each district, including elders and sisters, and you're in the same little classroom with your teacher every day. It's awesome, you become like a little family. Right now we have two teachers that switch between the morning and night shifts. Their names are Brother Harvey and Hermana Arroyo. They are the absolute BEST teachers I could ever ask for here, and I know that they were made my teachers for a reason. Our personalities are so similar and I have learned sooooo much from both of them. I want to be just like them. So I can't wait to apply when I get back! That's my plan so far.

Um did you know that when I fly on the plane to my mission I get to call you from the airport??!?! Neither did I until a few weeks ago! So I'll keep you posted about the exact time and day that I will call so that you can be home!

Did you know: in Spanish, the expression for "childbirth" is "dar luz," literally translated to mean "to give light."

Mom and Dad: do you remember the Haderlie family from Colorado Springs? Their son Garrett is in my zone. He's awesome. We reminisce about the Academy ward all the time. And remember the Martin family? Their daughter Katie (she was best friends with Ana-Lisa Clark, who is still on her mission in Japan)? She's here as well. I ran into her and we caught up for a bit. Elder Haderlie has always known her better than I did. I can't tell you how many connections I've had throughout my life from that Academy ward! It's insane! I'm convinced I'll have those connections for the rest of my life!

Lisa Bearnson sent me a care package this week! It was chocolate peanuts, nut mix and lip gloss in a gold glitter box. It made my whole day. I had been having a rough day and a simple act of kindness from someone, showing that someone thought of me, made me feel so bad for being negative. It changed my whole attitude and I was so grateful for that generosity.

Okay so remember how I said my companion and I were having a hard time finding unity in teaching? We had a companionship inventory, which we do once a week to discuss challenges, conflicts, strengths and goals, and we talked allll about this problem. We got everything out on the table about how we felt about it and resolved to listen to each other and do whatever it takes to have unity. Our teaching has been AWESOME ever since! I realized that even when I think she's wrong, I try out her ideas anyway and try to not throw my own out but implement them into an effective lesson. I realized that whenever I feel defensive, it's because I want to do things my way and assume that her way is wrong. Changing this attitude and perspective has brightened my entire MTC experience! I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father loves us enough to let us experience trials, confusion, frustraition and suffering to make us learn and grow and gain experience and conquer our weaknesses.

Did I mention how much I loved Daddy's Spanish letter? I could really only tell what about half of it said haha, but I thought it was so awesome that we could now communicate in Spanish. Just when I think I know so much I find out that I really hardly know nothing at all! Language is harder than I thought! But it's still coming along just fine. I mean, learning how to speak another language in two months? That's pretty sweet.

I had to speak in sacrament meeting yesterday. Everybody is given the topics beforehand and expected to prepare a talk, and then they call someone up randomly during the meeting and ask them to deliver what they've prepared. Good thing I'd finished my talk! I spoke about the Atonement. I thought it was so bad but people told me afterwards it was one of the best they'd heard in an MTC sacrament meeting! So hopefully that means I'm at the level I should be at this point in time with Spanish. I LOVE speaking it. We have a district goal to speak nothing but Spanish for 24 hours, 3 days out of every week. I love it. It's the only way to get you to start naturally thinking in that language and makes teaching so much easier. Did I mention that literally since day one we've had to teach all our investigators in Spanish?

So I've met more Wadsworths this week!!!! That makes about 6 now. They are from California Sacramento area and Las Vegas. I've heard tons about these Vegas Wadsworths from other people over the past few years. I got the contact info of these Elders for after the mish and one said that his mom was super into family history. This is the beginning of my family history journey!

One of the branch presidency wives gave a talk yesterday about how your attitude is everything. She told a story about a traveler who comes across 3 men doing the same job. She asks the first what he's doing. He replies, "I'm cutting stone." The next replies "I'm earning 3 pieces of gold." The last man says "I'm helping to build the temple of the Lord." They were all doing the exact same job, but their different perspectives shed certain light on their tasks. I realized that anytime I feel like I'm struggling and that it's "just one of those days, and there's nothing I can do," it's totally my attitude. I can choose to let things affect me or I can choose to let WHATEVER happens completely brush off. This has made such a difference in my days so far even since hearning this yesterday. Having the correct perspective is what life is all about. You can handle ANYTHING that is thrown at you when you keep that eternal perspective, and you escape the deception of the adversary.

Well family I love you dearly and pray for you daily! Remember who you are and bring the world his truth!

Love you!

Hermana Wadsworth

Week 4: Another week in the life

Hola!!!!

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISSY!!!! Did you get the card I sent you? I hope so. I hope your birthday was awesome!!! I can't believe you're 15!!!

So this was another great week in the MTC.

Lately my companion and I have been struggling when it comes to planning and teaching a lesson together. We had our weekly "companionship inventory" which is when we discuss our companionship unity, set goals, discuss challenges and resolve any conflicts. We talked a lot about how we both don't quite understand why it's so hard for us to prepare a lesson in unity. We both have great thoughts that we want to share and often can't see where the other person is coming from with what they've prepared. We've been frustrated because we both want to listen to the Spirit and make it the Lord's lesson, since He knows the needs of our investigator better than we do, but we have a hard time explaining ourselves to the other and feeling like we are on the same page. This has been having a massive effect on me my whole MTC stay. It makes it hard to feel the Spirit and discourages unity and makes our teaching sometimes unsuccessful. This leads me to lose motivation and the Spirit and I can't really be successful in any other aspect. So during inventory, we finally expressed how we've both felt and resolved to try harder to understand where we're both coming from, without feeling defensive about our part. It seemed like everything was out on the table and resolved and a huge weight had been lifted. I felt more motivated in every other aspect of my day. This morning was our first attempt at planning a lesson again with this new advice and yet it still felt the same, confusing for both of us and we feel like the other is flat out wrong. I'm so confused. I don't want to feel this way and I've been thinking so hard and so long about what I'm doing wrong and what I can do to fix the situation, but I feel like it always just comes down to her thoughts aren't relevant to the investigator's need.....but when I try to explain this she feels defensive.....I'm so confused! HElp! I've been praying about it and agonizing over it my entire MTC stay. Anyone have any advice? I don't understand why I just can't seem to identify the problem here to fix it going forward. I would LOVE advice, I just want answers to solve this problem.

Anywayyyy, I learned some really awesome things this week. One of the teachers on our floor, Brother Pepper, was talking to me about what I was studying and we got talking about faith. I asked him what it meant to have faith in Christ and he said he's come to learn that faith is not a feeling, it's an ACTION. He says having faith means that you are doing everything Heavenly Father asks you to do, such as the little things like reading scriptures, attending church, praying daily, and living how he would have you live. I loved this perspective. I realized that often I think "Okay, I need faith, now FEEL...........(grunt)....come on, feel faith......(grunt)........what's wrong with me? I don't feel this way and I can't force myself to feel this way, why not?" I focused so much on just making myself trying to FEEL faith, thinking that was enough. If I couldn't feel the way I thought I should, I thought there was something obviously wrong with me. But in realizing that faith is action, I can take that love that I have for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and through my daily actions show my faith. The guy who sits on his couch all day and says he has much faith in Christ is a hypocrite; he's saying one thing and doing another. But the guy who attends church, prays daily, reads his scriptures every day and conducts weekly family home evening even when he is struggling to feel the Spirit and have a full understanding of why he is doing the things he does truly has faith. Sometimes we think that we have to completely understand WHY we have to do certain things before we will do them, not willing to keep any commandment that we don't see the reasoning behind. This has often been my problem. But that isn't faith; faith is doing these things anyway, and trusting that the Lord knows all and has wise purposes in these things.

Last night we had a great fireside by the Hacking couple. The scripture D&C 38:25 was brought up, how we should all esteem our fellow men as ourselves. Last summer, I truly gained a testimony of charity as I started to practice it. I realized that when I stopped worrying about my own insecurities and what I wanted and focused on how I could make other people happy, I was happier than I'd ever been. I finally understood what the pure love of Christ was, and how it felt to have charity. But since then I've again become selfish and lost that love. I've struggled so much over the past year to get back to that point, to again be on that high that comes from living how Christ lived. I've spent hours and hours reviewing in my mind the exact formula I used to follow when I lived that kind of life, and what exactly I needed to do to get that feeling back. It finally hit me last night when I read this scripture. I remembered that when I care for those around me as much as I care about myself, I am filled with charity and thus the Spirit and I can do anything. I am the happiest person alive and everyday annoyances and challenges are absolutely nothing, and the happiness alone is enough motivation to help me make it through anything. Charity is the key!

So I've met two Elder Wadsworths here and one Sister Wadsworth, who is actually great friends from high school of Hermana Moffat, one of my roommates and sisters in my district. We found out we are related, that we are both decended from the Wadsworths that settled Wadsworth, Ohio. She says this month of this year marks the 100 year anniversarry of the Wadsworths coming to America from Denmark! I think more and more about how much it talks about my great involvement I will have with my family history in my patriarichal blessing and the closeness and watchfulness of my ancestors and doing their temple work for them. I'm stayin in touch with this girl and I can't wait to hit the ground running with family history when I get home!!!! Every time I meet people like this the Spirit tells me that these are the moments I've been waiting for, that will begin this journey of my involvement in the history. IT's SO AWESOME.

Sister Christensen from Salem Oregon has been sending me temple names every week for our whole district and others to do endowments for. It's part of a service project she is doing. She must have gotten my address from Rick and Allison. It's so fun to be involved in!

Kay well I'm out of time but I love you ALL and once again your constant letters are such a support and boost to me.

God be with you!!!!!

I'll try to send pictures in the mail this week :)

Love,

Kelsarootus

Week 3: Dreaming in Spanish

HOla mi familia bonita!!!!

I'm so excited to write to you today. Your letters/emails/dearElders have made me so happy! Getting mail is the best thing ever. Before I was a missionary, I never realized just how exciting it can be. It's hard that I only get to write on Preparation Days, but good because it keeps me from losing focus during the week.

Today our whole district begins speaking only in Spanish until we leave for our missions. This is gonna be tough. But I like it! I feel like it is the only way for me to really progress from the point that I am at right now. My roomies said that a couple of nights ago I was speaking in my sleep in Spanish! Haha that made me so happy! I can't wait to take a leap with my language abilities and really grow.

This past week has been so great. I feel like I've learned so much more about having faith in Jesus Christ to overcome my trials. I feel like all my weaknesses have been made so apparent to me while in the MTC, and I know Heavenly Father has been blessing me with such an opportunity to grow, to remember to always look to him and remember that without Him nothing is possible and with Him ALL things are possible. I've learned to pray constantly in humility and ask for help every minute of the day, because the things that are required of me are things I can't accomplish on my own.

MISSY ~ Thank you so much for your sweet letter! It made my whole day. It was so precious. It made me miss you so much!!! Good for you for being diligent in attending early morning seminary. I know it's SO hard but it will bless you for the rest of your life! You will learn to always do what is most important, and establishing that solid group of LDS friends will be a crutch to you throughout high school. Make sure to become best of friends with the kids in your class. And make sure to go to bed on time so you can get up that early and still be able to function enough to learn in school! If I could go back to high school and change one thing, it would be getting more sleep. Had I gotten more sleep, I would have gotten better grades, been in better health, had a better attitude, and all the other blessings that come from those things. You are so awesome. The kids your age need that light, love and life that come from the gospel and they need to see that other kids are doing what's right. It will bless them with knowledge of the truth and of how to live a good, happy life. Keep being the happy, wonderful, beautiful, friendly, steadfast example that you are. You have amazing potential. LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Yesterday, we had entrepreneur Holly Stone come talk to all the sister missionaries about image and appearance. Haha. It was a lot of fun! She gave us all great makeup tips and outfit tips about how to look more polished, like you made the effort to take care of yourself. She said image is the most powerful form of nonverbal communication, and that your image communicates who you are and what your message is all about: happiness. We all got little bags of makeup afterwards. It was so fun. I think that's something that sister missionaries as well as all women need to learn, to take good care of themselves and portray an image of confidence and ability. People are more likely to trust what you have to say and are more willing to listen to you when you keep yourself clean and presentable. It made me think a lot about my aesthetics license....I keep saying that it's not my passion and I don't care to pursue the beauty industry, but I would love to do something like Sister Stone did, educating others on the power that comes from taking care of yourself and presenting a clean, wholesome image, of someone who knows the truth and lives it and has happiness and strength in their life as a result. It says in the Book of Mormon that members of the church had clean, wholesome appearances. That is because they had the Spirit and it shone through their countenance. They kept themselves clean and well-groomed. People who are searching for the truth see that, and gravitate towards that light and life. It is so important as missionaries to portray that.

That's awesome you all got Macs! Freakin sweet.

ALLISON ~ Thanks so much for your email! It made me laugh! I'm trying so hard not to gain weight in the MTC. I work out pretty hard every time we have gym. I try to eat pretty healthy but I could prolly cut back some....a Sister told me she thinks I eat to much....I'm a Wadsworth, what can I say. I'm excited to know that I can walk off any weight I might gain! Have so much fun in New York with Hailey girl, and tell her and Megan happy birthday for me!!!

So we already have snow here! Not on the ground, just up in the mountains. But it's gotten pretty dang chilly. Feels good though.

Dang it I feel like I had so much to say and now I can't remember what it was! Well just know that I am doing so well and love and miss you all. I try to get better every day and I know that that can be done only through the Atonement and repentance, with goal setting and diligent obedience. Thank you so much for your prayers! I really need them! They help me so much.

Mom~ could you please message my friend Jaime Antonio Bravo on Facebook or something and tell him that I totally forgot to bring his address to the MTC with me but I would love to hear from him? Could you ask him to write me a dearElder or something with his address so I can write him? Thanks!

I'll try to print out some pictures today and send them to you. Unfortunately I can't do it electronically. My camera is working just fine, remember the story I told you about how I gave away the charger cord to DI on accident and then said a prayer and went back and found it there? Miracle.

Kay I love you all!!!! Keep being an "example of the believers" to those who don't have this love in their lives!!!

Hasta luego,

Hermana Wadsworth

:)

Week 2: Conference and dearelder.com are the best!

Soooo.....I typed up this HUGEEEEEE email, like 4 pages long, bearing my heart and soul about my testimony and about conference and my week. And it all got deleted.

Luckily, my loving companion let me use the rest of her 30 minutes of email time once she finished emailing her family. I love her. She is so sweet. She is Alicia Alley or Hermana Alley from Indianappolis Indiana, going to the Provo Utah Spanish speaking mission. She is SO SWEET and we have the best laughs and get along so well. The other two sisters in our district, Hermanas Brown and Moffat, arre THE BOMB. They're our roommates and the four of us have the BEST times together. We have the best laughs and always say "Christmas cards for life, kay guys!?" We grow closer and closer as a district every day. We have AWESOMe elders who we LOVE TO DEATH. We are already planning our "MTC" reunions for when we get home. We have the best times. I. Love. Them.

This morning in the temple I was thinking about the sacred covenants I've made to my Heavenly Father. Growing up it was always like, "Well, If I make wrong choices, it just means me missing out on opportunities for happiness and the chance to fulfill my potential. I really just felt kind of responsible to myself, and many times I didn't hold myself very accountable. But now that I've made these sacred promises and have given my Heavenly Father my word to do what He asks me to do, I can't go against that. Breaking rules and choosing not to live up to my covenants means being held accountable to God. That's kind of a big deal. When I choose to be somewhat obedient, deciding what rules I'd like to follow and which rules I think are dumb, Satan really does have power over me. I get depressed and lose hope and vison and forget my purpose and what it's like to be happy. But when I choose to be dilligent in keeping my word to my Heavenly Father, I am filled with the Spirit. I know who I am and I am blessed with motivation and happiness and an unbreakable desire to do my Heavenly Father's will. Nothing can stop me. EXACT obedience is drilled into us here in the MTC, because they are trying to prepare us to be able to have the Spirit constantly and be as happy and powerful as we can be, keeping us safe from Satan's clutches. I LOVED President Uchtdorf's talk about "Five Things to Never Forget." It reminded me that Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and knows that we aren't perfect, and He is very patient with us as we learn. He knows we are going to make mistakes. That's how we learn. That's why He blessed us with His Son, Jesus Christ. As soon as we want to be better and we change our behavior, we give the past to him and walk away into the future, full of joy and love. Without the Savior's suffering for us, this would be impossible. We would sin even once and be miserable forever and we wouln't be able to learn and grow at all. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior and can't wait to tell this truth to all of His children who are hurting! They need it!

That's SO AWESOMe that Linny is telling friends about who she is and what she stands for! Tell her to keep it up and encourage the other kids to do the same, to be not ashamed of this wonderful truth that blesses their lives with happiness and makes them the wonderful people they are today!

I thought you said Daddy's "CRAP" machine. I laughed so hard. That's so awesome that it's helping him to sleep better and have more energy! That makes me so happy!

I thought about what you talked about with that Catholic mom, about raising your kids on the enemy's territory. As long as you as a mother are striving to have the Spirit constantly and you work hard to make your home an environment of love where the Spirit can ALWAYS dwell, the kids will turn out okay. As long as you maintain a home that lives the gospel through weekly church attendance, WEEKLY FAMILY HOME EVENING, daily scripture study and family/individual prayer, the kids will remember your example of love for the rest of their lives and reguardless of the road bumps we all have in life, they'll turn out okay. That's all that matters.

BTW dearElder.com is the way to go in terms of you sending me mail. They are given to me the same day if not the day after you send them, and then I can use my 30 mins every Monday soley for typing to you rather than cutting into that half hour by having to read my mail first. So dearElder.com is definitely better! I'm so glad you knew about it!

We are always told "Obedience brings blessings. EXACT obedience brings miracles." And it's true. When I'm not exactly obedient, I am actually as unhappy as I would be if I had sinned! But when I am EXACTLY obedient, I am so full of the Spirit and can teach effectively and I am SO HAPPY.

I miss you all so much. I think of you often and always remember your examples. I would not be where I am today, on a mission, if I had not been raised in a loving home where I was taught the gospel and for the incredible love and examples of extended family. Never forget who you are and what is most important, and don't let Satan deceive you, because he tries to every minute of every day. Don't let him into your life. Be EXACTLY obedient and it is promised that he will have no power over you.

I miss you all and am so thankful for your prayers and fasting! IT WORKS and I NEED IT. Thank you!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

PS: Thank you so much for the conference weekend special package!!!! It made my whole weekend!!!!!!

LOVE,

Hermana Wadsworth

(Kelsie)

:)

PS I loved the talk about the spirit of Elijah, how importannt family history work is. I've met two elder wadsworths here atthe MTC who MUST be related somewhere down the line. My patriarical blessing talks all about being so involved in my family history and I can't wait to hit the ground running with it when I get home! I encourage you to get very invovled in yours and others' family history!!!!

KAY LOVE YOU!!!! talk to you next monday!!!! :)




Week One: The MTC Isn't an Empty Sea At All

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I am only allowed to email + write letters on mondays for half an hour total. So I'm just reading your email now and it brings me so much joy to hear from you! I'm so glad you're reading El Libro de Mormon!!! The family that prays together stays together.....

So, the MTC....the first couple of days, it was seriously the happiest place on earth. Seriously. SOOOO much learning, growing, loving, great people, amazing spirit. Going to bed early and waking up early is so awesome. It's how life should be. It feels so good. And yeah you're tired but it's not the impossible kind of tired where you can't go on and don't want to do anything, but the kind that you can do a few jumping jacks to shake off and keep moving on. The food is awesome but that's just the problem....it's buffet style and YOU SIT ALLLLLL DAY. That's all you do. You sit all day. Getting fat has never been easier. We use the gym every chance we get but some days we don't even have gym and by the time you finally get to eat you are starving, so.....I hope I don't get that fat. It's not a fun feeling being completely inactive all day. It also makes workouts super hard once you finally get to do them. But it's whatever, we make the best out of what we're given.

I can't believe I'm finally emailing, I've been waiting for this and have been so excited for it!

Mi companeras are AWESOME. My companion Hermana Alley is the sweetest cutest nicest little thing in the whole world and we get along GREAT. The other two girls who share our room are the only other girls in our district, and they are also awesome. We seriously have the best room. I love them. Our Elders are awesome too. We have a great district. I feel bad sometimes cause I feel like I'm not always the most perfectly reverent person.....but I'm pretty sure every single one of us struggles with that here......

IT's MADDDDD strict here. Like insane. It's been honestly super mega hard for me to humble myself to choose to be completely obedient to every rule. I like rules and I am willing to be obedient but have a very hard time with things like we can't cut our own hair, can't let our garments be showing when we walk out of the shower, can't sing in the cafeteria even hymns, and it just seems like I am told different rules by different leaders. Some say do this and don't do that, and others do that and say don't do this. So....I'm kinda like, I wanna be perfect but I also want to express my personality fully and not become a robot. We had an Elder tell us to not even have funny faces in pictures or laugh too much...........I feel like sometimes they tell us their opinion as to how we should act, personal takes on how to carry proper conduct, and call it general rules. I felt like I was being forced to become a robot and lose my personality and I wasn't too happy about it. My companion and I talked a lot about it and felt the same way. We came to the conclusion that you have to be yourself and enjoy your time or else you'll go crazy, you just have to make sure to strive to keep the spirit and do nothing to offend it, and know the line when it comes to humor and remember that there is a time and a place for everything. If you don't be yourself and embrace your personality, you'll go absolutely crazy and want to go home. I've had multiple RM's tell me that you MUST show people on your mission that you are real people, and just be yourself, so that they can relate to you and feel understood and feel like they can trust you and confide in you. I feel like this was really emphasized to me the whole year leading up to my mission. So it's hard because I want to be exactly obedient......I'll just be sure not to offend the sensitive spirit. That's all you have to be sure of. And then of course, following the rules to be safe.

The past couple days have been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard. A couple nights ago I had a dream that made me SUPER homesick, which honestly in all my days of college I've never been the homesick type. But when I was jolted out of my sleep and realized I was in the MTC, I was super depressed. That kind of set the tone the rest of the day and on top of struggling with the rules, my morale has really been super down. Thoughts that I don't want to be here, this is awful, why am I doing this, am I meant for this, do I really have what it takes, I hate this, I need a break, I need help.............

Then last night, we had a devotional by Brother Stephen B. Allen. He was hilarious and had us all laughing, which I needed. He talked all about my problem....how if you're feeling like you don't want to be here, you're thinking only of yourself. He said you need to focus on others instead and on serving them, and that SAtan is doing EVERYTHING he can to push EVERY SINGLE ONE of your buttons. Heck yeah he is! But he said you need to remember the Savior always and care more about others. After his talk I felt soooooooooooo much better and realized I was worrying about myself and complaining and feeling bad for myself and that needs to change if I want to be happy. It made my day. We then all watched a movie about Joseph Smith and that was a really nice break.

Yesterday our fast and testimony meeting was only in Spanish. It was really hard because we all had waited all week for that sweet relief from your cares that sacrament meeting brings, and had to sit there and hear only Spanish. Even hearing English hymns in the next room over made my heart ache and tears flow. But it was awesome....I understood what everyone was saying and bore my own testimony in Spanish.

Yo se que Dios es nuestro Padre Celestial. Se que su Hijo Jesucristo es el Salvador y el Redentor y tiene mucho amor para todos los hijos en el mundo. Tengo gracias para mi familia, y todos estos bendiciones, y para la oppurtunidad para apprender y progressar. En el nombre de Jesucristo, amen.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I need them so much and can't do this without you.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelsie :)