Merry Christmas!

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. It was so crazy to not be a part of all the usual present-giving/buying, all the normal fesivites. But it's so nice to have that time to show members extra love as we all gathered together for the holidays,

We were really surpirsed, hardly anyone was at church on CHristmas day. We thought that it would be packed full, but I'm sure that plenty of people were out of town for the holidays. But it was kinda sad haha :/, we only had probably 30-40 people there, and that included the 3 white families that were visiting and didn't realize they had come to a Spanish branch. We got up in the ward choir and sang "Angels We Have Heard on High" in Spanish, and that really invited the Spirit. But there was no primary program or anything else, or decorations or special talks. Our branch president spoke along with one of his counselors. The president spoke about Christmas and the Atonement, but his counselor talked about the Book of Mormon. It just wasn't really Christmassy haha, but I can tell you what made it so awesome was being able to take the sacrament.....

The night before, our mission president gave us all permission to attend midnight mass, a tradition for all Catholic churches. We went with our zone and even though we were soooo tired then and the next day, it was an awesome opportunity. It was very festive and very interesting and cool but the Spirit just wasn't there. You could just feel that there was something missing. It warmed my heart so much to be observing everything around us in this church and all the people in it, and then to look over at our Elders who hold the TRUE priesthood. They just stuck out like a sore thumb. Their countenances just shone with the Spirit. People kept looking at us and someone asked, "who are you?" I've learned from this experience how absolutely astonished and greatful I am that I get to be a part of this true Church, that I get to have the truth in my life. I've always known it and been so thankful for that knowledge but this experience was just such a witness to me of how much I have, having the true Gospel of Jesus Christ as revealed through a prophet. It's so amazing. We're a minority on this earth, can you believe that you get to be a part of it? I've often thought, "how have I been blessed with SO MUCH when most people in the world don't have a life as wonderful as mine? I was born in this free country, to a loving, stable family home life who taught me the gospel from birth, and has always supported me economically and blessed me with love and opportunities, and I have every oportunity in the world to acheive whatever my heart desires. I have a car, food, shelter, money, clothes, family, education, a healthy normal body,health.....everything. How is it possible that I have all of this and most other people don't have it at all?" Sister Jeppsen and I were talking about this the other day. It's because we've been purposefully sent to these situations to give what other people everything we have that they need. I'm not disabled so I can help those that are; I have the gospel and all these material blessings so that I can go and spread the gospel to those who don't have it or don't understand it. I know that I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my life. I love consecrating all I have to the Lord, and I want to live the rest of my life this way. I need to use ALL that I've been given for the benefit of the growth and happiness for others. All of these blessings are no cooincidence, each one has been given me by the Lord for a specific reason.

Yesterday we had a conference with our whole mission. It was SO AWESOME to be in one room with so many missionaries!!! I love our missionaries SO MUCH, it's always a huge boost to be around other ones. We had games and food and tons of musical numbers and talks. Our president got up and frankly told us that we aren't working like we should be and that we need to step up and change right now if we want to see miracles. It was awesome. It was a good kick in the pants and a wonderful opportunity to repent. I've been doing too much of going through the motions, coming across as doing well, but not living up to what I know is my potential. His honesty was so helpful, a thousand times more helpful than any encouragement or kind words that could have been said. It really pierced me to my heart and I decided to change immediately. When I work hard and put my heart and soul and energy into what we're doing, I am constantly guided by the Spirit and am so happy and we do see literal miracles. But when I go through the motions, it's awful, because I know I'm not living up to my potential and magnifying my abilities to have success and do what needs to be done. I'm just so thankful for repentance, to be able to have that moment where I realize I need to change and to wake up the next day and do it. Heavenly Father is so patient with me and I would be totally damned forever if it weren't for the Atonement of my Savior. I love being able to share this with people and say that I KNOW it works.

Well, I wish I could type for hours but we have to go. I love you all so much, and thank you so much for your wonderful Christmas gifts!!!!!! Jen, thank you so much for the adorable scarf! Ann and Dennis, thank you so much for the card and money, it was so generous and perfect because I needed money for laundry quarters haha! Mom and Dad, thank you SO MUCh for the GPS and treats. It's EXACTLY what I need; we changed the voice on the TOMtOM to Raul, who guides us in SPanish. It's sweet. And Grandma and Grandpa, I can't thank you enough for your gift. First of all, I know that you know that blueberries and almonds are perfect and exactly what I need, that sandies are my favorite cookies, and that I think of both of you every time I eat all of these things. And for the letters from my dad on his mission, I can't thank you enough. It's so awesome to see a glimpse of what he was like at my age, and his perspective on the same things that I am experiencing. I laughed so hard when he wrote "the Latinos can never say my name" because I know exactly how that goes! What a wonderful opportunity to get to know him even better. What a perfect gift. Thank you so, so much.

Well have a happy new year! Our Mission President told us to make this the year of Jesus Christ, to quit all the play and all the talking and now is the time for WORK. Do the same, make this year the year of Jesus Christ, of doing his work and seeing miracles!

I LOVE YOU :)

Hermana Wadsworth

Week 12: Feliz Navidad!

Hello my beloved family…

I've learned so much again this week it was awesome. Whenever I say I've learned a lot, I mean about life in general. Yeah, I'm always learning new Spanish, the names of the kids of our investigators and ward members, how to live off of 32 dollars a week, what NEVER to do with your life, and what kind of foods really do burn you twice.......but what I mean is I'm always learning so much about life, about what is most important, what makes you happy, what I will change going forward for my own family to provide my children with the best opportunity for growth and happiness possible, how I plan to be the best wife and mother, what to do and what never to do, and just....EVERYTHING.

Sister Jeppsen and I relate EVERYTHING to relationships. We think it's so funny but it really works! Every situation where our investigators won't commit, when we need extra patience and selflessness, and every situation we observe with members can be related to a typical dating relationship. But it's funny because at the end of the day I somehow better understand what makes a relationship successful and what destroys it, and it always comes down to living the Gospel of Jesus Christ or choosing to follow Satan. It's almost crazy how simple the equation really is. Obedience=happiness, disobedience=misery. You'd think we as people would always remember this. It's so nuts how humans forget everything all the time. We constantly have to be reminded of things we even learned yesterday. So that's why we need to go to church every sunday, read/pray every day, repent daily.....well, you know.

Today marked a monumental moment, crossing off a priority on my bucket list filling my heart with joy and my stomach with grease. With our fine Elders in our zone, I suggested we all get lunch at the famous WAFFLE HOUSE.

Grits. Everything I thought they would be. And more.

The woman sitting next to us kept staring at me and at the end said how amazed she was at how much food I could eat and still be as thin as I was. I asked her again if she called me...thin? Maybe she was talking to the person behind me, hahha. She just couldn't see my stomach under the table.

So anyway pretty much every day I add to and take from this image in my mind of the kind of wife and mother I want to be according to what I've learned. I can't wait to apply the principles of the gospel that I'm understanding better and better every day to make for a happy home where the Spirit can dwell. I LOVE being able to teach that to families on a daily basis and watch the atmosphere in their home slowly start to change. It's so awesome. It's awesome because it really works!

Okay so CHRISTMAS DAY: I got your email. I will be calling at 2:30 our time! Which is 4:30 your time.I can't wait!!!! I get only exactly 60 minutes. Can't wait!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE PACKAGE!!!! IT's so awesome and so perfect because right before I opened it we were talking about what could we possibly give the children in our families for FHE treats sice we seriously have nothing to give and really no money to buy anything. Then we opened up the package and it was literally the answer to our prayers! Thank you so much! Sister Jeppsen and I wear the Santa hats around the house and she was so touched that you included a stocking for her. They are the cutest things ever! They're hilarious! I haven't had any time at all yet to read the letters inside but it already has meant so much to me. Thank you so much! The presents are around the bottom of our little 2-foot tree. I'll send you a picture of it.

Something that would be so awesome is if you could all send experiences you've had with faith, obedience and the blessings that came, or anything else that you would ever like to share with an investigator of the church. I share experiences of people I know all the time. Mom, remember the time I was little and you had to choose between paying tithing or finding a place to live, and after you paid your tithing you found a new place right away? Would you mind sending me that story, I've told it to a lot of investigators but I'm not sure if I have the details right. I'd love to get it.

We're in the public library today and the Charlie Brown Christmas movie is playing in the background for the kids. The theme song makes me think of Missy.

I love you all so much!!!! HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! I'm about out of time and haven't gotten to read everyone's emails yet so I won't be able to respond to them right now but I can print them out and read them.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

FELIZ NAVIDAD!!!!!!!

Hermana Wadsworth

Week 11: Lots of work and lots of fun

Yesterday I was talking with Sister Jeppsen about hard things. She says she likes hard things because they are rewarding. I said....I don't like hard things. Jaja.

Remember how we had a woman that just had to marry her husband to be baptized? And how we all fasted and she got a miracle and said they would be married that next day? The next day when we went over she told us she doesn't know if she wants to marry him. Which means their two young children have to deal with their parents separating. But, she told us of all these times in the past that he was continuously unfaithful, and wouldn't treat her right. Kind of a lame position when you've had kids with this person :( . But she is a trooper. She wants to be baptized with all her heart and she is one of those rare investigators that we call "golden." She's ready. We just need to see what she decides. I feel so bad for her. She is so so so awesome and puts up with so much and has to do so much all on her own for her kids. But I know she'll make it. I know that she'll be baptized by the end of this month, if not January.

We have another investigator that was finally picking up her boot straps and progressing towards her baptism date on Dec 17th after two years of missionary discussions, but is suddenly slacking even more and we don't know yet if we'll have to drop her or not. I feel so bad, I know my companion really loves this woman with all her heart. But if she isn't baptized by January like she says she will do then we have to move on.

We are teaching an amazing family who are so loving and so humble and love the gospel. They've said in both the first and second lessons that they would accept baptism. They thought Jan 7th was too early but we're convincing them that they don't need to wait forever to act. Honestly, if someone has the desire and is so willing to keep the commandments of God and is clean with the Word of Wisdom and Law of Chastity for at least two weeks, and attend church 3 times, they are good to go. This family is just so awesome. The mom and dad aren't officially married and have 4 beautiful little daughters. The oldest, Lisette, who is 10, has seen us teaching other families in the neighborhood and says she has been praying for us to come to her house. She always thanks Heavenly Father in her prayers for us. We gave her her own BOM and she has been reading it and likes it. She really wants to attend church but doesn't without her parents. We feel like her little light and testimony will help carry this family into the waters of baptism. They are already so humble and listen so intently to our lessons, I can just feel the Spirit piercing their hearts every time. It's only a matter of time before they get'er done.

It's just crazy to be struggling with these investigators that we just wish with all our hearts would finally step forward but are falling short and at the same time be so blessed with these beautiful families who are so kind and humble and ready for the gospel. It's like a roller coaster and it's hard because you leave one lesson frustrated but have to go straight into the next lesson with all the faith and positivity in the world. It's possible though, if you just pray and change your mindset. Sometimes when I open my mouth during a lesson and feel the Spirit so strong in the room as we teach, I feel so guilty for being discouraged or frustrated and am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for being so forgiving and patient with me when I am so selfish and imperfect and wrong and often just dumb and lazy. I love Him. Feeling His love and support for me propels me to repent. I know that He knows exactly how to help me and does so, even when I definitely don't deserve it.

Sister Jeppsen and I talk all the time about how happy we are that we aren't married yet, that we've been given a chance to really actually learn about life and how to do it all and what marriage really is before making that MASSIVE decision! It's like mommy boot camp. I'm so thankful Heavenly Father has blessed me to have these experiences to prepare for something so incredible as motherhood. I realize more and more every day how hard it is actually going to be and I'm just so thankful for this preparation; there is NO WAY I could have gotten married without doing this first. And to think this is all only in my first 3 weeks!!! I can't wait to see what else I learn!

The other day we helped Jose build a table out of some wood for service. We have been teaching his family and their little children are so precious. He is such a good husband to his wife and father to his children. They have so much love and are ready for the gospel. That was fun. I realized I LOVE working with wood. I really really want to take classes and learn how to build my own furniture and stuff!! I love it!!! I remembered always building tree houses in the backyard in Michigan and how all my friends thought I was crazy but I loved it.

Sister Jeppsen talked a lot with me the other day about how I don't know what I want out of school. She said I should try a liberal arts degree since I want to know everything about everthing but don't want one specific path. I just want to experience everything but don't want to be the best at one specific thing. I think that sounds so awesome. I think I'll try it out. Maybe I will end up taking to one more specific thing from there. Who knows.

The other day I had what's called chiltpin or something? Hottest thing on earth. It gets progressively hotter in your mouth after you eat it. I was panickin.

The food is SO AWESOME. Taquitos, chimichangas, burritos, tacos EVERY DAY. ESTE ES LA VIDA.

Spanish is hard. I'm getting sick of not knowing exactly what people are saying in lessons. Sis Jepp says give it 6 months :( .

OKay love you with all my heart! Gotta run!

Hermana Wadsworth

Week 9: Off to Arizona!

GREETINGS FROM SUNNY TUCSON!!!!!!!!!!

I STILL can't believe I'm here. It's WARM. It's awesome. My companion is heaven sent. Her name is Hermana Jeppson from Logan, Utah and literally everybody who has talked about her has said that she is the best I could possibly get, including the President himself. He told me that in his opinion she is literally the best missionary in the entire mission, that if she was an elder she would be AP. She is the work horse of the area. SHE IS SO AWESOME!!!! She is very down to earth and very "let's stop wasting time and get this done right now." But she is also very kind and understanding and listens very well. So basically, all my prayers for the world's best companion were answered. I can't wait to learn the ropes from her amazing example and experience.

Yesterday President Kilpack and his wife picked us up from the airport, along with the APs. The Kilpacks are incredible! They took us to the Mormon Battalion monument, treated us to pizza for lunch, and took us to their home where we spent the rest of the night having meetings, interviews, dinner, testimony meeting, pictures, and a nature walk. All of the senior couples were also with us. Their home was so nice and the spirit was so strong. During my interview with President Kilpack was when he told me I really have been given the best companion in the whole mission. She also speaks excellent Spanish!

I've been told by everyone so far that this is a baptizing mission. Our goal for each companionship is a baptism every month! They said the people are so humble and the members love and care for their missionaries. I'm in such a good place! We got settled in our apartment this morning, which has grass! Most places around here don't have any because it is so dry. It's a cute little place. The sister who's place I'm taking is Sister Curlee, the CUTEST thing I've ever seen. I'll send pictures. She barely comes up to my shoulder.

Our APs and elders seem so awesome so far. They were all so friendly and had such a strong confidence and charity and respect. I can tell they are good elders.

At the airport yesterday, I thought, "Oh my heck, I'm in public....I have to talk to people...." It was actually the part that freaked me out the most about getting ready to go into the field! We were sitting across from a couple that didn't seem very talkative, but I felt super strongly like I had to talk to them. I kept getting scared and wouldn't do it and when I finally resolved that I would, they both fell asleep. I was sitting there with a mormon.org card in my lap, shaking, waiting for them to wake up. Our plane was coming soon and I was so scared of disobeying the prompting from the Spirit to talk to them that I said a prayer that they would wake up. Not even 30 seconds later they just opened up their eyes and looked at us and started talking to us! Prayers are answered! We talked to them all about their trip and family and everything. Then I said, "Have you heard about the church..."yes"....Well we focus a lot on the family, how to gain stronger family relationships, how to better raise a family these days, how families can be blessed by the gospel...." I gave the woman the mormon.org card and got rejected hahhah but I followed the prompting to open my mouth and felt like that had made me successful. No regrets. Then, on the plane, I sat in the aisle seat next to an Elder. The woman across the aisle from me was traveling with her son to watch her daughter perform in a musical. We kept talking but I could NOT think of a way to bring up the gospel at all. It bugged me the whole flight. Again, while this woman slept, I agonized in my mind about what I should say. I started talking to the woman in front of her, saying anything that came to mind, and then out of nowhere she said, "So are you nervous? You're for 18 months, right? Good luck." I didn't think she was a member. I couldn't tell. But I just tried to have a good conversation with her and make her feel like she was listened to. But I still didn't know what I should say to her. I'm excited to see my companion in situations like this so I can see how she makes the transition.

Yesterday my traveling companion was Sister Blood, from San Diego. Her story is crazy. It made me so humble and so grateful. Her dad was a "jack mormon" who left their family years ago and her mom is an ex-mormon gone anti. Her mom would always bible bash with her and Sister Blood would have to get rides every week with the Relief Society president. She got baptized when she was 12. When she announced that she was going on a mission, her mom was always putting anti-mormon literature on her bed and saying that she would disown her if she went. When her call came in the mail, she came home from work that night and found it ripped to shreds in the trash can. She had to sit there for hours taping it back together and found out that she was going to Tucson, English speaking. Her mom told her that she wouldn't write her a single letter and when she called home from the airport the other day, her mom asked why she was even calling. She didn't want to talk about it at all after. I thought holy cow, I AM BLESSED!!!! My family is all active members and all they ever do is be incredible examples and encourage me to do the right thing! I can't believe how much I have taken it for granted! I love you all so much and I can see how I was put in this amazing family for a reason. I have always struggled with believing in myself and having enough confidence to do what I should, and all my family members have helped me to see who I am, realize my potential and turn it into action. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for all of you. I've never really been the type to say "That's what I want in life so I'm going to get it" type, I've often given up and thought that I'm just not great and can't accomplish anything. But that changes now. I am going to set high expectations, have faith in myself and in my investigators, be obedient, and CHANGE through being obedient to all these things daily. I know now that I can change and become who I want to become because of the Savior. I can't wait to tell this to other people who don't understand who they are and their magnificent potential to change their lives and do great things.

Well today is P-day, I don't know if we'll be meeting with investigators or what. I know we're going to go play basketball with the other elders or something. I've gotta finish unpacking a few things. I think my trainer Sister Jeppson is also new in the area, I can't remember. Oh wait, we're covering new areas on top of our own, or something like that. We were told about some of our new investigators by the sisters that taught them. They said there have been miracles worked with these people, that they are very special and we need to take very good care of them. I'm so excited to get started! Hra Jeppson said we don't tract a lot. She said they used to go for 7 or 8 hours at a time but it was found to be pretty ineffective, so we don't really do a ton anymore. It's mostly member referrals, which are the BEST because they have friends in the church who can help them. So whenever the missionaries ask you for referrals of people you know, don't hesitate! This was emphasized to us OVER AND OVER again in the MTC. Members are KEY in missionary work. the best thing you could possibly do to help the missionaries is give them referrals.

Well I guess that's it for now. So I'll be writing again next monday. You can still dearElder me here, I just don't know when I'll get them. Mail and packages don't come directly to our apartment (we're actually not allowed to give anyone our apartment address, including family), they are all sent to the mission office and then given to us once a week. I'll let you know how it goes.

Well I love you love you love you LOVE you!!!! Can't wait to tell you about my first week!!!!

PS: Thank you Kristine SO MUCH for the peanut butter bars!!!!! We all gobbled them up immediately, my district said they were the best thing they'd ever had! I said I know.

Jen--Thanks so much for your letter!!!! President Uchtdorff's talk was also my favorite in conference.

Sister Addis--Thank you so much for your letter! It was such a nice surprise!!! Kimy is doing well at the MTC, it was such a blessing to be with her!!!

Sister Edwards--Thank you for dearElder!!! I heard from Sean recently and it made my whole day. I am sad that Tucker is losing his hearing!! :(

OKay love you!!!!!

~Hermana Wadsworth

Week 8: Goodbye MTC!

Hola!!!

So, this is my last week in the MTC.

I feel like I just got here not too long ago!

It's crazy how it's a time warp; part of you feels like you just came and part feels like you've been here your whole life (and will never leave).

Not much happened this week. It's really just been a bunch of reviewing Spanish and trying to perfect what we still don't understand. I've learned more about teaching, though. I feel like I'm really starting to get a grip on how to ask thought-provoking questions, how to discern what their real concern is from what they're telling me, and how to teach with the spirit and just listen. I'm excited and nervous to be doing this with real people!! But our mock investigators have really helped us a lot to have a feel for what it will be like.

Man, you really have to be totally worthy for the spirit and totally in tune with whatever it is trying to tell you about your investigator. When I'm not perfectly listening or in tune with the Spirit, we aren't successful teachers. I feel like it's kindaaaa a huge deal, it's really nerve racking because I'm definitely not perfect and it can be pretty hard sometimes to really have the exact kind of lesson you should have. I really hope that my first companion in the field is just completely stellar and I can learn soooooo much from her in the very beginning. If not.....well, bring it on.

So, I got my travel plans!!!! I'll be flying to Tucson on Monday the 21 (next monday) with Delta. My flight leaves at around 10-ish I think.....but while I'm in the airport I GET TO CALL HOME!!!!! So my guess is that I'll be calling anytime from like 8-9:30 my time, or 10-11:30 your time. Send me a dearElder to let me know if I should call your cell phone or call the house or what, and MAKE SURE TO SEND ME YOUR HOME PHONE NUMBER---I've forgotten it and I don't have it. So be ready! I can't wait to call!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Grandma and Grandpa--I was supposed to give you my mission home address right now and I was totally dumb and completely forgot to!!! I'll probably hop back on email later today and send it to you. But would you mind sending my bedding package tomorrow to the mission office? I can't remember if you got the check for it or not, let me know :)

I met ANOTHER Wadsworth yesterday. She is the wife of a branch president here at the MTC. She is from Pinaca (Pin-a-kuh, don't know how to spell it), Las Vegas. I've heard this from multiple people before-- people always say "Oh, do you have family in Las Vegas? I know a bunch of Wadsworths from there." Once again, can't wait to do my family history. Yesterday I actually learned all about how family history is a great way to find people to teach. Did you know that all church family history centers are open to all people and that 60% of the people that use these centers are not LDS? It's a huge hobby these days. We were told we could organize classes in meeting houses for people who are interested in doing their family history. I'm so excited! I encourage you guys to get started with your family history! It's so exciting. The church has the largest database of geneology files in the entire world. And you can just go to FamilySearch.org and do it all from your computer at home. It's actually really fun :)

Wellllll I guess that's it for now....I've got time left on my email so if I can think of anything else I'll hop back on later and send you another one. But I loooooooooooove you. Today we're doing sealings in the temple. I'm excited.

Well LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!

Hermana Wadsworth

Week 7: More good times

HOla HoLa hoLA!!!!

This week in the MTC was awesome. Every week I grow so much. It´s hard, but I love it. I gain so much understanding through having experience. I love it! This is how life should be. I´m determined to keep it this way after my mission.

KIM IS HERE!!!! She got here Wednesday and I couldn´t find her all day. So at night I randomly went searching in the dorm rooms on the floor above ours and ran right into her! It´´s been so awesome having my best friend go through this experience with me! I´ll have to get pictures of us together and send them to you.

Grandma and Grandpa~ I was wondering if you could send me any stories or pictures of my dad on his mission? I'd love to hear about the kind of missionary he was, what he learned, and funny stories.

I've learned some very important lessons this week. I've had so many faith-building experiences that have strengthened my testimony and brought me greater understanding and happiness the old fashioned way (work and hard times).

I've realized that I'm really hard on myself. Really hard. So when something doesn't go perfectly right, I get super depressed. If I'm lacking desire or motivation one day to work and be happy or I have a lesson that doesn't go well or one thing goes wrong, I beat myself up over it. I tell myself that life is too hard and this is how it will always be and I can never improve and I'll never be happy or successful or really be the best person that I want to be. Satan totally jumps right in when I'm having a moment like this. I would get confused when I was doing everything I was supposed to and was either messing up or feeling a lack of motivation or wasn't having an "Enos moment" every time I planned a lesson or read the scriptures or was obedient. I finally realized that THATS NORMAL. If we were super happy and filled with the Spirit so strongly and strong and successful allllllll the time, we wouldn't actually fully comprehend that happiness. We would just be going through the motions and we wouldn't understand the happy moments when we had them. "The sad times on your mission will outnumber the happy ones, but the happy moments will outweigh the sad ones." That's already been true for me in the MTC. It's like I forgot that I'm human and farrrrr from perfect, that no one is ever happy all the time. This is why Adam and Eve were cast out of the Garden, so they could gain understanding and really cherish the happiness they found. If we were never sad we'd never be happy. I'm so thankful Heavenly Father loves me so much that He allows me to have these rough times in order to really be thankful for the happy moments.

From this experience I also had to remember what life is all about: growing and progressing one little bit at a time. I would always compare myself unfavorably to others and their accomplishments and feel like it was impossible for me to change. But when Sacrament came on Sunday, I remembered that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are ready to immediately forgive as soon as we have a change of heart. This whole plan is all for US! I couldn't do anything without the Atonement of my Savior and I love Him very much. Everyone in the world needs to know that they have a Savior!

Last night we had a devotional from one of the Church's lawyers. It was so awesome. He talked all about religious freedom in different countries, and what sorts of things stop the work from progressing on the earth. He took us through a bunch of statistics and showed us how the Lord's hand is in every detail of the work spreading forth on the earth! He said 70% of the world's population lives with HIGH resstrictions on religious freedom. He told us about different laws in different countries and interesting stories about the times he's had to be a part of passing different laws in different lands and "opening the doors of nations" to the gospel, for missionaries to go proselyte and establish the church. Of the stories he shared, it just made you think "holy cow, the Lord really is in every single detail of this, opening hearts and doors and everything so the gospel can move forward!" He said church membership is increasing exponentially: 54% every decade! It made me want to learn so much more. That would be so awesome to be a part of moving the work forward on the earth through negotiating and creating laws and what have you.

Okay thank you SO MUCH for the packages everyone has sent me!!!! Getting mail is the bomb but getting packages is the BEST. Grandma and Grandpa thank you so much for the package with the picture! It was so sweet!!! And mom thank you so much for the watches, they are perfect. They are so cute! I love them! I sent you a check this week for my car and the watches--let me know if you got it.

I'll send you my bank info this week.

Yesterday I met a Sister Bardin going to Tucson Spanish speaking! She is the only person I've met in the whole MTC so far going there! She is from ROy Utah and is very sweet.

I also met another Wadsworth yesterday!!! I got her contact info for after the mish.

Yesterday I bore my testimony in Spanish in sacrament meeting. It was great. I LOVE SPANISH. I feel like it's seriously always been in my blood. I've always loved the language and the culture and the FOOD and just everything about it. I feel like this was meant to be.

Kim told me that before she came into the MTC she had a dream that my dad would be helping me a lot, especially with my Spanish. He already has.

I feel like I've finally gotten to the point now where I can look back at day 1 and say "look how far I've come!" I can finally measure my progress and recognize that I've changed and learned so much. MISSION IN TWO WEEKS AHHHH!!!!!!!

It's been chilly here. There's snow on the mountains and it's so beautiful! I love it. It was gently snowing this morning when we left our dorm. We had a nice temple walk yesterday. All of the trees were bold yellow and red. It was so beautiful.

I'm just so HAPPY. I'm loving life. It hasn't been easy so far but it has been so worth it and I have grown so much as a person already. I can't wait to be in the field! Ah that's so crazy!

Well I love you all so much and think about you every day. I couldn't do this without all of your prayers. I need them so much. Thank you!

Yo se que Dios y Jesucristo viven, y JesuCristo es mi Salvador. Arrepentimiento funciona y es possible para cambiar cada dia. El amo.

Dad thanks so much for the letters in Spanish! Hahah I love them!!

Well wish me luck with another week!

Don't forget that I get to CALL you in the airport when I fly to Arizona. I'll get you the details-- I get my travel plans this week!!! CRazy!!!!

Kay love you all!!!!!!!

Hermana Wadsworth

Week 6: Scary costumes

!Feliz Vispera de Todos los Santos! (80)

(It's a ghost.)

This was a great week. Yesterday, Elaine S. Dalton was our speaker in Relief Society. Holy cow, she is so awesome! She is seriously like an angel! She talked to us about "last words a mother would give her daughters as they venture into the mission field." She boosted our confidence as she talked all about our divine nature, purpose, potential, and different stories and scriptures that help her in tough times. She told a story of a time when she was on a run with her husband. She gets competitive and wanted to beat him up a large hill, but when he passed her, she gave up and called "Honey, I'm going back to the car." He ran back down to her, grabbed her hand, and said "You can do this, we'll do it together." She related it to how when we get halfway up a difficult "hill" in our lives, we have equal distance to turn around and go all the way back to the car or keep pressing forward. She said if she had given up and decided to go sulk because of pride, she would have missed the most beautiful sunrise of her life. She related it to when we get stuck in the middle of our hill and are tired and want to turn back, the Savior takes our hand and helps us up to the "incredible sunrise." So when the going gets tough, never give up! It's simply not worth it to turn around and go back.

Thank you so much for sending watches!! That is so sweet. I haven't had the chance to visit the mail room but I'll pick them up today.

Today my district sisters and I are doing initiatories in the temple instead of endownments. I'm excited.

I told everyone I'm going to be a missionary for Halloween. My costume is pretty convincing. It's scary enough to scare the dickens out of Satan himself!

;)

Man I sure miss you all. I'll have to get over that, I've got 17 more months! Hahah. But I'm doin fine.

What are you all doing for Halloween?? Did you do anything over the weekend? I wish I could carve pumpkins and stuff! My companion said that when we contact our new investigator today, when he opens the door, we'll say "trick or treat."

This week we had an awesome experience teaching. We've been very frustrated and discouraged with our investigator Maria. She often doesn't keep commitments and even when we know she is feeling the Spirit and receiving a witness of the truth, she still says, "Mm, maybe. Maybe I'll read. Maybe I'll go to church. Eh." But this week in Preach My Gospel, I learned that investigator's needs are like an iceberg~you can only see the tip of it, that's all they'll give you, but under the surface is the real lot of it, the majority of what's really going on. So it's up to us to ask and ask and ask questions until we get to the very source of the problem, the very root of what they don't understand or what they need or what's holding them back. So in our last lesson with Maria, I realized I had been flipping through the scriptures while my companion talked, thinking of what to say next, when the thought came to my mind (that I learned from Preach My Gospel this week also): "Stop thinking of what to say next, and just LISTEN." So I stopped and listened to what Maria and my companion were trying to say and it made all the difference in the world. I was totally prompted by the Spirit as to what to say and ask and share and it was exactly what Maria needed to hear. We've always had to try so hard to get her to pray or do anything at all, and this time she willingly prayed right there with us and pleaded for a forgiveness of her sins. It was so heartfelt. She was crying. She told us she wanted to go to church with us on Sunday.

This lesson was the answer to mine and Hermana Alley's prayers. Maria had me legit soooo discouraged about the whole mission for so long. I felt like every single investigator would be just like her and I would never be able to help convert anybody because they just weren't going to listen. I had no faith in myself or in my future investigators. But when I changed this attititude and finally started teaching the way He wants me to teach, it was successful. And I'll tell you, that one moment made every single other struggle with her completely worth it. I would go through it all again and even more if it meant achieving the same result. One of my friends Scott from King Henry was talking to me right before I left and he said "It doesn't matter if you even BLED for that person to be baptized, it's all worth it in the end." And I can already feel that's so true! It gave me all the boost and motivation I needed to keep pressing on. It also made me think of President Hinckley, when he said that life is actally mostly about the hard times, doing the stuff you don't wanna do every day, and that the awesome happy moments are actually somewhat rare blessings. But when you have those moments, it's amazing how it gives you the strength to do everything all over again.

One more experience~~ a few days ago I was just feeling awful. I just was having no confidence and no faith and feeling insecure and couldn't focus or do anything right or just bleh. I was studying Spanish and could NOT understand the concept of Past Subjunctive and I just kinda broke down. I felt so stupid cause the whole class saw me crying over Spanish hahha. But my awesome teacher Hermana Arroyo came and comforted me and said that God knows I can do this. He's there helping me and He wouldn't give me any challenge I couldn't suceed in. I felt such a comforting feeling when she said that. My companion took me to the bathroom so I could just cry for a bit and let it all out ahhah and while I was in the stall I felt someone there with me, comforting me so much. I KNEW either the Savior or a ministering angel was right there with me and was taking away my huge burden, filling me with so much love. It then turned into I couldn't stop crying because I felt Heaven'y FAther's incredible love for me and my significance to Him. It gave me such a stronger testimony of Him and the SAvior's reality and their great love and pacience with all of us. Their whole purpose really is for us to succeed. They don't have other things on their adgenda but to help us make it throguh this life and gain salvation. They love us more that I can know. I've been wondering, though, if it could have been an angel there with me, maybe my dad. I'm not sure but I keep praying to know if it could have been him who was there. I wouldn't doubt it at all if it was. Often when I feel his presence like that it's incredibly strong and undeniable.

Well I have to run cause I'm already al little past my time but I love you all!!! Thank you so much for all your prayers and letters! I wanna make you proud and Heavenly FAther is helping me to do so!

PS Kim gets here on WEDNESDAY!!!! THREE DAYS!!!! AHHHHH!!!!

Okay LOVE YOU!!!!

Happy Halloween!!!

Hermana Wadsworth :)

Week 5: Over the hump

Ah sweet family, we write again.

I sure do miss you guys! I was realizing the other day that it's been over a month now since we've talked live, and that I've got 17 more of those to go.

:(

But it's okay cause it's gonna fly by! And getting letters during the week is the best thing ever.

So this was a good week!

Have I mentioned before how I want to be a teacher here at the MTC when I get home? The idea has come to my mind so many times and every time I think about it I get super happy and excited and feel prompted by the Spirit that this is a good goal I should strive to achieve. A teacher has their own district for the whole 9 weeks that the district is here and every day they teach the class the language, how to improve teaching, and the gospel. There's probably about anywhere from 8-12 people in each district, including elders and sisters, and you're in the same little classroom with your teacher every day. It's awesome, you become like a little family. Right now we have two teachers that switch between the morning and night shifts. Their names are Brother Harvey and Hermana Arroyo. They are the absolute BEST teachers I could ever ask for here, and I know that they were made my teachers for a reason. Our personalities are so similar and I have learned sooooo much from both of them. I want to be just like them. So I can't wait to apply when I get back! That's my plan so far.

Um did you know that when I fly on the plane to my mission I get to call you from the airport??!?! Neither did I until a few weeks ago! So I'll keep you posted about the exact time and day that I will call so that you can be home!

Did you know: in Spanish, the expression for "childbirth" is "dar luz," literally translated to mean "to give light."

Mom and Dad: do you remember the Haderlie family from Colorado Springs? Their son Garrett is in my zone. He's awesome. We reminisce about the Academy ward all the time. And remember the Martin family? Their daughter Katie (she was best friends with Ana-Lisa Clark, who is still on her mission in Japan)? She's here as well. I ran into her and we caught up for a bit. Elder Haderlie has always known her better than I did. I can't tell you how many connections I've had throughout my life from that Academy ward! It's insane! I'm convinced I'll have those connections for the rest of my life!

Lisa Bearnson sent me a care package this week! It was chocolate peanuts, nut mix and lip gloss in a gold glitter box. It made my whole day. I had been having a rough day and a simple act of kindness from someone, showing that someone thought of me, made me feel so bad for being negative. It changed my whole attitude and I was so grateful for that generosity.

Okay so remember how I said my companion and I were having a hard time finding unity in teaching? We had a companionship inventory, which we do once a week to discuss challenges, conflicts, strengths and goals, and we talked allll about this problem. We got everything out on the table about how we felt about it and resolved to listen to each other and do whatever it takes to have unity. Our teaching has been AWESOME ever since! I realized that even when I think she's wrong, I try out her ideas anyway and try to not throw my own out but implement them into an effective lesson. I realized that whenever I feel defensive, it's because I want to do things my way and assume that her way is wrong. Changing this attitude and perspective has brightened my entire MTC experience! I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father loves us enough to let us experience trials, confusion, frustraition and suffering to make us learn and grow and gain experience and conquer our weaknesses.

Did I mention how much I loved Daddy's Spanish letter? I could really only tell what about half of it said haha, but I thought it was so awesome that we could now communicate in Spanish. Just when I think I know so much I find out that I really hardly know nothing at all! Language is harder than I thought! But it's still coming along just fine. I mean, learning how to speak another language in two months? That's pretty sweet.

I had to speak in sacrament meeting yesterday. Everybody is given the topics beforehand and expected to prepare a talk, and then they call someone up randomly during the meeting and ask them to deliver what they've prepared. Good thing I'd finished my talk! I spoke about the Atonement. I thought it was so bad but people told me afterwards it was one of the best they'd heard in an MTC sacrament meeting! So hopefully that means I'm at the level I should be at this point in time with Spanish. I LOVE speaking it. We have a district goal to speak nothing but Spanish for 24 hours, 3 days out of every week. I love it. It's the only way to get you to start naturally thinking in that language and makes teaching so much easier. Did I mention that literally since day one we've had to teach all our investigators in Spanish?

So I've met more Wadsworths this week!!!! That makes about 6 now. They are from California Sacramento area and Las Vegas. I've heard tons about these Vegas Wadsworths from other people over the past few years. I got the contact info of these Elders for after the mish and one said that his mom was super into family history. This is the beginning of my family history journey!

One of the branch presidency wives gave a talk yesterday about how your attitude is everything. She told a story about a traveler who comes across 3 men doing the same job. She asks the first what he's doing. He replies, "I'm cutting stone." The next replies "I'm earning 3 pieces of gold." The last man says "I'm helping to build the temple of the Lord." They were all doing the exact same job, but their different perspectives shed certain light on their tasks. I realized that anytime I feel like I'm struggling and that it's "just one of those days, and there's nothing I can do," it's totally my attitude. I can choose to let things affect me or I can choose to let WHATEVER happens completely brush off. This has made such a difference in my days so far even since hearning this yesterday. Having the correct perspective is what life is all about. You can handle ANYTHING that is thrown at you when you keep that eternal perspective, and you escape the deception of the adversary.

Well family I love you dearly and pray for you daily! Remember who you are and bring the world his truth!

Love you!

Hermana Wadsworth

Week 4: Another week in the life

Hola!!!!

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISSY!!!! Did you get the card I sent you? I hope so. I hope your birthday was awesome!!! I can't believe you're 15!!!

So this was another great week in the MTC.

Lately my companion and I have been struggling when it comes to planning and teaching a lesson together. We had our weekly "companionship inventory" which is when we discuss our companionship unity, set goals, discuss challenges and resolve any conflicts. We talked a lot about how we both don't quite understand why it's so hard for us to prepare a lesson in unity. We both have great thoughts that we want to share and often can't see where the other person is coming from with what they've prepared. We've been frustrated because we both want to listen to the Spirit and make it the Lord's lesson, since He knows the needs of our investigator better than we do, but we have a hard time explaining ourselves to the other and feeling like we are on the same page. This has been having a massive effect on me my whole MTC stay. It makes it hard to feel the Spirit and discourages unity and makes our teaching sometimes unsuccessful. This leads me to lose motivation and the Spirit and I can't really be successful in any other aspect. So during inventory, we finally expressed how we've both felt and resolved to try harder to understand where we're both coming from, without feeling defensive about our part. It seemed like everything was out on the table and resolved and a huge weight had been lifted. I felt more motivated in every other aspect of my day. This morning was our first attempt at planning a lesson again with this new advice and yet it still felt the same, confusing for both of us and we feel like the other is flat out wrong. I'm so confused. I don't want to feel this way and I've been thinking so hard and so long about what I'm doing wrong and what I can do to fix the situation, but I feel like it always just comes down to her thoughts aren't relevant to the investigator's need.....but when I try to explain this she feels defensive.....I'm so confused! HElp! I've been praying about it and agonizing over it my entire MTC stay. Anyone have any advice? I don't understand why I just can't seem to identify the problem here to fix it going forward. I would LOVE advice, I just want answers to solve this problem.

Anywayyyy, I learned some really awesome things this week. One of the teachers on our floor, Brother Pepper, was talking to me about what I was studying and we got talking about faith. I asked him what it meant to have faith in Christ and he said he's come to learn that faith is not a feeling, it's an ACTION. He says having faith means that you are doing everything Heavenly Father asks you to do, such as the little things like reading scriptures, attending church, praying daily, and living how he would have you live. I loved this perspective. I realized that often I think "Okay, I need faith, now FEEL...........(grunt)....come on, feel faith......(grunt)........what's wrong with me? I don't feel this way and I can't force myself to feel this way, why not?" I focused so much on just making myself trying to FEEL faith, thinking that was enough. If I couldn't feel the way I thought I should, I thought there was something obviously wrong with me. But in realizing that faith is action, I can take that love that I have for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and through my daily actions show my faith. The guy who sits on his couch all day and says he has much faith in Christ is a hypocrite; he's saying one thing and doing another. But the guy who attends church, prays daily, reads his scriptures every day and conducts weekly family home evening even when he is struggling to feel the Spirit and have a full understanding of why he is doing the things he does truly has faith. Sometimes we think that we have to completely understand WHY we have to do certain things before we will do them, not willing to keep any commandment that we don't see the reasoning behind. This has often been my problem. But that isn't faith; faith is doing these things anyway, and trusting that the Lord knows all and has wise purposes in these things.

Last night we had a great fireside by the Hacking couple. The scripture D&C 38:25 was brought up, how we should all esteem our fellow men as ourselves. Last summer, I truly gained a testimony of charity as I started to practice it. I realized that when I stopped worrying about my own insecurities and what I wanted and focused on how I could make other people happy, I was happier than I'd ever been. I finally understood what the pure love of Christ was, and how it felt to have charity. But since then I've again become selfish and lost that love. I've struggled so much over the past year to get back to that point, to again be on that high that comes from living how Christ lived. I've spent hours and hours reviewing in my mind the exact formula I used to follow when I lived that kind of life, and what exactly I needed to do to get that feeling back. It finally hit me last night when I read this scripture. I remembered that when I care for those around me as much as I care about myself, I am filled with charity and thus the Spirit and I can do anything. I am the happiest person alive and everyday annoyances and challenges are absolutely nothing, and the happiness alone is enough motivation to help me make it through anything. Charity is the key!

So I've met two Elder Wadsworths here and one Sister Wadsworth, who is actually great friends from high school of Hermana Moffat, one of my roommates and sisters in my district. We found out we are related, that we are both decended from the Wadsworths that settled Wadsworth, Ohio. She says this month of this year marks the 100 year anniversarry of the Wadsworths coming to America from Denmark! I think more and more about how much it talks about my great involvement I will have with my family history in my patriarichal blessing and the closeness and watchfulness of my ancestors and doing their temple work for them. I'm stayin in touch with this girl and I can't wait to hit the ground running with family history when I get home!!!! Every time I meet people like this the Spirit tells me that these are the moments I've been waiting for, that will begin this journey of my involvement in the history. IT's SO AWESOME.

Sister Christensen from Salem Oregon has been sending me temple names every week for our whole district and others to do endowments for. It's part of a service project she is doing. She must have gotten my address from Rick and Allison. It's so fun to be involved in!

Kay well I'm out of time but I love you ALL and once again your constant letters are such a support and boost to me.

God be with you!!!!!

I'll try to send pictures in the mail this week :)

Love,

Kelsarootus

Week 3: Dreaming in Spanish

HOla mi familia bonita!!!!

I'm so excited to write to you today. Your letters/emails/dearElders have made me so happy! Getting mail is the best thing ever. Before I was a missionary, I never realized just how exciting it can be. It's hard that I only get to write on Preparation Days, but good because it keeps me from losing focus during the week.

Today our whole district begins speaking only in Spanish until we leave for our missions. This is gonna be tough. But I like it! I feel like it is the only way for me to really progress from the point that I am at right now. My roomies said that a couple of nights ago I was speaking in my sleep in Spanish! Haha that made me so happy! I can't wait to take a leap with my language abilities and really grow.

This past week has been so great. I feel like I've learned so much more about having faith in Jesus Christ to overcome my trials. I feel like all my weaknesses have been made so apparent to me while in the MTC, and I know Heavenly Father has been blessing me with such an opportunity to grow, to remember to always look to him and remember that without Him nothing is possible and with Him ALL things are possible. I've learned to pray constantly in humility and ask for help every minute of the day, because the things that are required of me are things I can't accomplish on my own.

MISSY ~ Thank you so much for your sweet letter! It made my whole day. It was so precious. It made me miss you so much!!! Good for you for being diligent in attending early morning seminary. I know it's SO hard but it will bless you for the rest of your life! You will learn to always do what is most important, and establishing that solid group of LDS friends will be a crutch to you throughout high school. Make sure to become best of friends with the kids in your class. And make sure to go to bed on time so you can get up that early and still be able to function enough to learn in school! If I could go back to high school and change one thing, it would be getting more sleep. Had I gotten more sleep, I would have gotten better grades, been in better health, had a better attitude, and all the other blessings that come from those things. You are so awesome. The kids your age need that light, love and life that come from the gospel and they need to see that other kids are doing what's right. It will bless them with knowledge of the truth and of how to live a good, happy life. Keep being the happy, wonderful, beautiful, friendly, steadfast example that you are. You have amazing potential. LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Yesterday, we had entrepreneur Holly Stone come talk to all the sister missionaries about image and appearance. Haha. It was a lot of fun! She gave us all great makeup tips and outfit tips about how to look more polished, like you made the effort to take care of yourself. She said image is the most powerful form of nonverbal communication, and that your image communicates who you are and what your message is all about: happiness. We all got little bags of makeup afterwards. It was so fun. I think that's something that sister missionaries as well as all women need to learn, to take good care of themselves and portray an image of confidence and ability. People are more likely to trust what you have to say and are more willing to listen to you when you keep yourself clean and presentable. It made me think a lot about my aesthetics license....I keep saying that it's not my passion and I don't care to pursue the beauty industry, but I would love to do something like Sister Stone did, educating others on the power that comes from taking care of yourself and presenting a clean, wholesome image, of someone who knows the truth and lives it and has happiness and strength in their life as a result. It says in the Book of Mormon that members of the church had clean, wholesome appearances. That is because they had the Spirit and it shone through their countenance. They kept themselves clean and well-groomed. People who are searching for the truth see that, and gravitate towards that light and life. It is so important as missionaries to portray that.

That's awesome you all got Macs! Freakin sweet.

ALLISON ~ Thanks so much for your email! It made me laugh! I'm trying so hard not to gain weight in the MTC. I work out pretty hard every time we have gym. I try to eat pretty healthy but I could prolly cut back some....a Sister told me she thinks I eat to much....I'm a Wadsworth, what can I say. I'm excited to know that I can walk off any weight I might gain! Have so much fun in New York with Hailey girl, and tell her and Megan happy birthday for me!!!

So we already have snow here! Not on the ground, just up in the mountains. But it's gotten pretty dang chilly. Feels good though.

Dang it I feel like I had so much to say and now I can't remember what it was! Well just know that I am doing so well and love and miss you all. I try to get better every day and I know that that can be done only through the Atonement and repentance, with goal setting and diligent obedience. Thank you so much for your prayers! I really need them! They help me so much.

Mom~ could you please message my friend Jaime Antonio Bravo on Facebook or something and tell him that I totally forgot to bring his address to the MTC with me but I would love to hear from him? Could you ask him to write me a dearElder or something with his address so I can write him? Thanks!

I'll try to print out some pictures today and send them to you. Unfortunately I can't do it electronically. My camera is working just fine, remember the story I told you about how I gave away the charger cord to DI on accident and then said a prayer and went back and found it there? Miracle.

Kay I love you all!!!! Keep being an "example of the believers" to those who don't have this love in their lives!!!

Hasta luego,

Hermana Wadsworth

:)

Week 2: Conference and dearelder.com are the best!

Soooo.....I typed up this HUGEEEEEE email, like 4 pages long, bearing my heart and soul about my testimony and about conference and my week. And it all got deleted.

Luckily, my loving companion let me use the rest of her 30 minutes of email time once she finished emailing her family. I love her. She is so sweet. She is Alicia Alley or Hermana Alley from Indianappolis Indiana, going to the Provo Utah Spanish speaking mission. She is SO SWEET and we have the best laughs and get along so well. The other two sisters in our district, Hermanas Brown and Moffat, arre THE BOMB. They're our roommates and the four of us have the BEST times together. We have the best laughs and always say "Christmas cards for life, kay guys!?" We grow closer and closer as a district every day. We have AWESOMe elders who we LOVE TO DEATH. We are already planning our "MTC" reunions for when we get home. We have the best times. I. Love. Them.

This morning in the temple I was thinking about the sacred covenants I've made to my Heavenly Father. Growing up it was always like, "Well, If I make wrong choices, it just means me missing out on opportunities for happiness and the chance to fulfill my potential. I really just felt kind of responsible to myself, and many times I didn't hold myself very accountable. But now that I've made these sacred promises and have given my Heavenly Father my word to do what He asks me to do, I can't go against that. Breaking rules and choosing not to live up to my covenants means being held accountable to God. That's kind of a big deal. When I choose to be somewhat obedient, deciding what rules I'd like to follow and which rules I think are dumb, Satan really does have power over me. I get depressed and lose hope and vison and forget my purpose and what it's like to be happy. But when I choose to be dilligent in keeping my word to my Heavenly Father, I am filled with the Spirit. I know who I am and I am blessed with motivation and happiness and an unbreakable desire to do my Heavenly Father's will. Nothing can stop me. EXACT obedience is drilled into us here in the MTC, because they are trying to prepare us to be able to have the Spirit constantly and be as happy and powerful as we can be, keeping us safe from Satan's clutches. I LOVED President Uchtdorf's talk about "Five Things to Never Forget." It reminded me that Heavenly Father knows our weaknesses and knows that we aren't perfect, and He is very patient with us as we learn. He knows we are going to make mistakes. That's how we learn. That's why He blessed us with His Son, Jesus Christ. As soon as we want to be better and we change our behavior, we give the past to him and walk away into the future, full of joy and love. Without the Savior's suffering for us, this would be impossible. We would sin even once and be miserable forever and we wouln't be able to learn and grow at all. I love my Heavenly Father and my Savior and can't wait to tell this truth to all of His children who are hurting! They need it!

That's SO AWESOMe that Linny is telling friends about who she is and what she stands for! Tell her to keep it up and encourage the other kids to do the same, to be not ashamed of this wonderful truth that blesses their lives with happiness and makes them the wonderful people they are today!

I thought you said Daddy's "CRAP" machine. I laughed so hard. That's so awesome that it's helping him to sleep better and have more energy! That makes me so happy!

I thought about what you talked about with that Catholic mom, about raising your kids on the enemy's territory. As long as you as a mother are striving to have the Spirit constantly and you work hard to make your home an environment of love where the Spirit can ALWAYS dwell, the kids will turn out okay. As long as you maintain a home that lives the gospel through weekly church attendance, WEEKLY FAMILY HOME EVENING, daily scripture study and family/individual prayer, the kids will remember your example of love for the rest of their lives and reguardless of the road bumps we all have in life, they'll turn out okay. That's all that matters.

BTW dearElder.com is the way to go in terms of you sending me mail. They are given to me the same day if not the day after you send them, and then I can use my 30 mins every Monday soley for typing to you rather than cutting into that half hour by having to read my mail first. So dearElder.com is definitely better! I'm so glad you knew about it!

We are always told "Obedience brings blessings. EXACT obedience brings miracles." And it's true. When I'm not exactly obedient, I am actually as unhappy as I would be if I had sinned! But when I am EXACTLY obedient, I am so full of the Spirit and can teach effectively and I am SO HAPPY.

I miss you all so much. I think of you often and always remember your examples. I would not be where I am today, on a mission, if I had not been raised in a loving home where I was taught the gospel and for the incredible love and examples of extended family. Never forget who you are and what is most important, and don't let Satan deceive you, because he tries to every minute of every day. Don't let him into your life. Be EXACTLY obedient and it is promised that he will have no power over you.

I miss you all and am so thankful for your prayers and fasting! IT WORKS and I NEED IT. Thank you!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

PS: Thank you so much for the conference weekend special package!!!! It made my whole weekend!!!!!!

LOVE,

Hermana Wadsworth

(Kelsie)

:)

PS I loved the talk about the spirit of Elijah, how importannt family history work is. I've met two elder wadsworths here atthe MTC who MUST be related somewhere down the line. My patriarical blessing talks all about being so involved in my family history and I can't wait to hit the ground running with it when I get home! I encourage you to get very invovled in yours and others' family history!!!!

KAY LOVE YOU!!!! talk to you next monday!!!! :)




Week One: The MTC Isn't an Empty Sea At All

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I am only allowed to email + write letters on mondays for half an hour total. So I'm just reading your email now and it brings me so much joy to hear from you! I'm so glad you're reading El Libro de Mormon!!! The family that prays together stays together.....

So, the MTC....the first couple of days, it was seriously the happiest place on earth. Seriously. SOOOO much learning, growing, loving, great people, amazing spirit. Going to bed early and waking up early is so awesome. It's how life should be. It feels so good. And yeah you're tired but it's not the impossible kind of tired where you can't go on and don't want to do anything, but the kind that you can do a few jumping jacks to shake off and keep moving on. The food is awesome but that's just the problem....it's buffet style and YOU SIT ALLLLLL DAY. That's all you do. You sit all day. Getting fat has never been easier. We use the gym every chance we get but some days we don't even have gym and by the time you finally get to eat you are starving, so.....I hope I don't get that fat. It's not a fun feeling being completely inactive all day. It also makes workouts super hard once you finally get to do them. But it's whatever, we make the best out of what we're given.

I can't believe I'm finally emailing, I've been waiting for this and have been so excited for it!

Mi companeras are AWESOME. My companion Hermana Alley is the sweetest cutest nicest little thing in the whole world and we get along GREAT. The other two girls who share our room are the only other girls in our district, and they are also awesome. We seriously have the best room. I love them. Our Elders are awesome too. We have a great district. I feel bad sometimes cause I feel like I'm not always the most perfectly reverent person.....but I'm pretty sure every single one of us struggles with that here......

IT's MADDDDD strict here. Like insane. It's been honestly super mega hard for me to humble myself to choose to be completely obedient to every rule. I like rules and I am willing to be obedient but have a very hard time with things like we can't cut our own hair, can't let our garments be showing when we walk out of the shower, can't sing in the cafeteria even hymns, and it just seems like I am told different rules by different leaders. Some say do this and don't do that, and others do that and say don't do this. So....I'm kinda like, I wanna be perfect but I also want to express my personality fully and not become a robot. We had an Elder tell us to not even have funny faces in pictures or laugh too much...........I feel like sometimes they tell us their opinion as to how we should act, personal takes on how to carry proper conduct, and call it general rules. I felt like I was being forced to become a robot and lose my personality and I wasn't too happy about it. My companion and I talked a lot about it and felt the same way. We came to the conclusion that you have to be yourself and enjoy your time or else you'll go crazy, you just have to make sure to strive to keep the spirit and do nothing to offend it, and know the line when it comes to humor and remember that there is a time and a place for everything. If you don't be yourself and embrace your personality, you'll go absolutely crazy and want to go home. I've had multiple RM's tell me that you MUST show people on your mission that you are real people, and just be yourself, so that they can relate to you and feel understood and feel like they can trust you and confide in you. I feel like this was really emphasized to me the whole year leading up to my mission. So it's hard because I want to be exactly obedient......I'll just be sure not to offend the sensitive spirit. That's all you have to be sure of. And then of course, following the rules to be safe.

The past couple days have been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard. A couple nights ago I had a dream that made me SUPER homesick, which honestly in all my days of college I've never been the homesick type. But when I was jolted out of my sleep and realized I was in the MTC, I was super depressed. That kind of set the tone the rest of the day and on top of struggling with the rules, my morale has really been super down. Thoughts that I don't want to be here, this is awful, why am I doing this, am I meant for this, do I really have what it takes, I hate this, I need a break, I need help.............

Then last night, we had a devotional by Brother Stephen B. Allen. He was hilarious and had us all laughing, which I needed. He talked all about my problem....how if you're feeling like you don't want to be here, you're thinking only of yourself. He said you need to focus on others instead and on serving them, and that SAtan is doing EVERYTHING he can to push EVERY SINGLE ONE of your buttons. Heck yeah he is! But he said you need to remember the Savior always and care more about others. After his talk I felt soooooooooooo much better and realized I was worrying about myself and complaining and feeling bad for myself and that needs to change if I want to be happy. It made my day. We then all watched a movie about Joseph Smith and that was a really nice break.

Yesterday our fast and testimony meeting was only in Spanish. It was really hard because we all had waited all week for that sweet relief from your cares that sacrament meeting brings, and had to sit there and hear only Spanish. Even hearing English hymns in the next room over made my heart ache and tears flow. But it was awesome....I understood what everyone was saying and bore my own testimony in Spanish.

Yo se que Dios es nuestro Padre Celestial. Se que su Hijo Jesucristo es el Salvador y el Redentor y tiene mucho amor para todos los hijos en el mundo. Tengo gracias para mi familia, y todos estos bendiciones, y para la oppurtunidad para apprender y progressar. En el nombre de Jesucristo, amen.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I need them so much and can't do this without you.

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelsie :)